Dear Grocery Aisle Hogs

Get the hell out of my way! Grocery store aisles are supposed to be treated the same as street lanes, slower traffic to the right (unless you're in Australia or England, then you figure it out). Aisles are made just big enough for one lane of traffic to travel up and one lane of traffic to travel down...what is so difficult to understand about this basic system of our society?

Today, I encountered a woman who was shopping with her three children, one of them walking and two of them sitting inside that giant race car shaped monstrosity that most grocery stores have today (what's up with that, it's not a carnival, it's a store). Every time I went down an aisle, there she was either cutting me off at the pass while struggling to make the 90 degree turn into the aisle with that Volkswagen-size shopping cart or parked in the middle of the aisle all the way across so that no one could pass. When I tried to pass by, slowly inching my way towards her location, she just stood there looking at the shelves acting like she didn't see me. I know you see me people, it's brightly lit in there, and when you pretend like I don't exist it just makes me want to ram you with my cart even more!

And then there's the woman who did see me standing there on the right side of the aisle like a good little shopper, quietly perusing the soup selection...yet she decides to stop her cart right between me and the soup that I'm obviously looking at intensely. Hello, I'm standing right here, trying to decide between the three for two dollars cream of mushroom and the ten for a buck Ramen, not stopping to enjoy the ambiance...so get the hell out of my way before I beat you with a giant can of Progresso Rich and Hearty! Of course, the woman who did this today was some old lady, so I just smiled and let her move on unscathed...but the next old lady might not be so lucky!

Let's recap: Stay to the right, don't block the lanes, and don't stand between a shopper and her soup!

Thank you.