Dear Christians

Yes, I've heard the good news about Jesus and no I don't want to make him my personal savior. Please stop asking me. Do you really think there is anyone left on the planet that hasn't heard your good news about Jesus? I think you need a new marketing strategy and slogan, might I suggest:

1. Jesus, it's not about loving everyone anymore.

2. I know you've heard of Jesus, but did you know he's hiring?

3. Jesus, now with a minty fresh scent.

4. Jesus died for your sins...so let's party!

5. The good news about Jesus is that he doesn't discriminate...unless you're gay!

Thank you.